When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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