dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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