i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
