what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize