i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
