I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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