2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
