I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You took a bar mat shot.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize