he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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