shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
