We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
