Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So vagazzling was a success
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
