She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
