Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
accomplished twins. life is a go
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
