Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
