is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
