she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
