what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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