Three words: puerto rican gang bang
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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