we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
