Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
