i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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