I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
