Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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