Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
