he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
