thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
