So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
