That's intense
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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