so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She told me I should be a condom model.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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