Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Welp...herpes.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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