I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
