i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize