You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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