But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
