Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
