Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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