I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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