the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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