I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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