Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
