Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
