I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
