discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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