After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
