Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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