i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
