What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
