Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹ï¸
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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