Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
