If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize