i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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