whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
