Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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