If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
