Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
