I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
