Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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