She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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